I have one more day of lessons in term one of my second year and stress is pulling at me yet again. It's the same story as last year, and simply a constant notion for a teacher, you want all your students to pass their tests with flying colors and everyone dance around a box of donuts with their 100% smiley face marks on the tops of their exams. The harsh reality is I will hand back some failed tests and feel like an asshole about it. I know it's an extreme way of thinking but in my mind I am telling a child he/she isn't good enough and that is an awful feeling. My fellow grade six teacher calmed my nerves over lunch on Friday by pointing out that these same students will get similar marks on their Thai exams. It was a good reminder that these tests aren't necessarily a reflection of you as a teacher. You can help guide and point their tiny minds in the right direction but you can only teach root work ethic and motivation to an extent, most of that is the parents' job.
Since I have been back from the wedding and my visit home, life has been busy to say the least, and amazing the say the very least. My newly wed friends and my brother joined me in my new home. We toured Bangkok, new islands, and cities and had a great time. They did some traveling up to the North of Thailand while I was busy teaching and it was great to hear their impressions of this place. Some of which were similar to mine - disorganization being a common theme. However, I think that is one of the many things Thailand has taught me. Let go a bit. No, the buses aren't on time. A trip into Bangkok from Koh Samet took six hours instead of the three you thought it was going to. Well guess what, there's not a whole lot you can do about that. Sit back and enjoy the ride. As long as I've got something to write, read, and listen - I should quit my bitching. Who knows which came first, the chicken or the egg (Thailand being without schedule, or people being laid back about it), but people here live without as much expectation and it is a shame I need such a constant reminder to adopt this mindset. Things more often have a way of finding you than the opposite. Time to throw away my "What will be done today" lists and focus on my "Great times that have been had list." (I'm teaching future passive and present perfect passive voice and had to sneak that one in there. Nerdy teachers for the win)
Friends and family have asked me, "How long will you stay?" "What's your plan when you get back?" "Do you have a girlfriend out there?" "Where are you going next?" Again, this life has a way of showing you instead.
She tells me, "Josh, you think so much." - yeah, I know. "Josh, you think a lot." yeah, I know! The end of term I lose some sleep, ok. "Josh, why do you think so much?" That was a question for which I had no response. So I'm trying to do it less.
**Notables**
1) When your student who absolutely adores comics, Marvel, and everything superhero related is chosen to be a superhero in a skit, he then sends you this from their trip saying, "Teacher Josh, we just arrived to the hotel and I am practicing for tomorrow." Go save the world Taechin!
2) One of our roommates was recently hit by a car while crossing the street right outside our house. It has been a whirlwind of emotions and events. We are so happy she is doing ok and every time I visit the hospital and see her smiling it makes me so happy and thankful. I am also thankful for everyone in my house and how they have all come together as a family. I am blessed to be surrounded by such an amazing group again this year. Keep fighting Mare Lee, we love you girl. And thank you friends.
3) One night while walking home by myself on Koh Samet I was surrounded by puppies. All of the asshole dogs in Thailand went away and I played with puppies for God knows how long. This is the only photo I have that came out legible.
