The Ring

Leaving the shire.

The Why

There are probably a lot of people who think my engagement is great but also in the back of their minds do a little dog-head-tilt and say, "hmmm."  I can understand this, I was one of them and I can still stereotype a bit in my thinking when I see a guy in an Asian nation getting a bride.  Many dismayed thoughts probably occur - she likes his money, how young is she, is their love true or is this a mail order bride sort of deal.  Or maybe some that are a little more mild - how do they communicate, are they really good for each other, who is going to make the sacrifice and not live in their home nation and how will that go.  The two of us have walked a rough road fighting some battles that stemmed from some of these ideas.  Neither of us clearly fall into any of these categories or specific ways of thinking but the stigmas are there and influence you on some level.  And even if they don't, the simple fact that we come from such different worlds culturally created some bumps, or even potholes to better describe them, in our road we traveled.  It has been rough and sometimes unpleasant but after a big fight we would both look back and try and find the real root and there was always a common theme.  There was never anything truly mailicious or unsettling, it usually began from a misunderstanding.  There were/are many misunderstandings and there will be more due to mostly a language barrier.  I don't speak fluent Thai and she doesn't speak fluent English.  If you have hung out with the two of us together you might be worried because it seems we don't communicate well.  It used to bother me too, and sometimes still does, but we have learned to communicate much better as the two of us learn more about our languages and each other in general.  A lot of communicating can be unspoken  We started to build off of these battles and became closer because of them.  Over time we fought less and built more.

In the last 4 months or so we became closer and closer, had some amazing weekend getaways with some good conversation and the thought of marriage became more of a possibility to me.  It always was for her, from the very beginning she said she would marry me.  This was nerve racking in the beginning, I felt it was too early for that talk, but it also gave me confidence.  Then there was a conversation that summed up a theme.  One night I confided in her that as we became closer I was also scared I couldn't give her all the things she wanted.  That even if we did have kids maybe I wouldn't be able to help her in a way that another man could.  Perhaps I couldn't hold them, I couldn't drive our family to the beach, etc.  She looked at me and said I make her nervous and scared too.  I hung my head.  Then she told me the rest.  She said she only becomes nervous and scared when I think of these things.  She said they had never even occurred to her before I brought them up and that she is with me because I am a strong intelligent person.  My whole life I have always wanted to be treated like a normal person, to not be seen as someone different or in need of aid.  Those words will always stick with me and they've changed the way I think about myself.  They told me to stand taller because the only time people lose confidence in me (especially the one most important to me) is when I lose it for myself.

The When

Everyone wants to know the story of how I proposed.  There isn't really anything too exciting here to tell.  I didn't put it up on the jumbo tron, I didn't wait until Jaws popped out of the water, I didn't have candles or roses, and I didn't make it public.  In a lot of ways it was similar to the night I decided to marry her.  We were at my Mom's house in Greymouth New Zealand and we were having a good conversation about how much we'd grown, how happy it makes her, and how our future only holds more of these.  I told her I had to pee (romantic notions galore, eh) and left her watching the sunset on the coast.  I had hid the ring a little too deep in my bag and by the time I found it she had come inside because it was cold.  In hindsight I should have dragged her freezing butt back out there.  The next night it was the two of us talking about quite the opposite.  I think after meeting my family and friends and seeing more of the realness of all this she began to think about more of the serious things too and not just the fun holidays.  She started talking about kids, bills, loans, work, etc. and it was all worrying her because she thought it could all change.  I said we should keep one thing the same and asked her if she truly did want to be with me forever.  She said yes.  I turned to grab the ring out of my bag and she said "port shee" which translates to "I have to pee."   Son of a bitch, urine is going to ruin this damn thing!  She came back shortly and I was ready this time.

There and Back Again

Our time getting to New Zealand was a nightmare, I won't tell the awful story of more than 50 hours of travel, however I will say I will never fly with Air Asia again unless I absolutely have to.  They were no help.  Our time in New Zealand was incredible.  Upon arriving I told Derek, "this is the first time I've ever set foot in the southern hemisphere."  He replied with, "Every step we take from here on out will be the furthest we've ever been from the shire."  Fish and chips, craft beer, amazing treks, beautiful scenery on every leg of our many road trips, .. I could go on and on.  However, spending some time with family and friends (oh and my fiancé too) was the best part.  They made the trip. 

Derek, that pub we're looking for, is it called Mt. Doom like in the movie?  "No Josh, the pub they were supposed to meet Gandalf in was the Prancing Pony, Mt. Doom is in Mordor."   Right, right.  From Derek's constant Lord of the Rings references to Conor teasing Marisa about how we can find her some more bread if she likes (Marisa said she was tired of bread, which is somewhat analogous to my Aunt telling me she was tired of rice in Thailand.  I had to explain to her that bread is usually a part of most meals.), the New Zealand trip was incredible.  I saw one of the biggest beaches with black sand I've ever seen.  Derek had me convinced for a bit that lambs and sheep are different species.  Conor bear-hugged me, even with his broken foot, after we swam in freezing water.  My parents designed an unforgettable road trip that spoiled our eyes with views and our stomachs with cuisine.  Oh right, I said I could go on and on...and then I did.  Oh, one last thing.  Their beers come in about 18.5 ounce (575ml) pours which I guess is standard in the UK and Commonwealth nations.  "They come in pints!  I'm getting one."














Notables

1)  The locals in a small town told us to dig down on a certain beach at low tide and we could essentially make a small hot pool for us to sit in.  There is a lot of geothermic activity in New Zealand that makes this possible.  We dug and dug and we're still not sure if we're being laughed at by all the small town folks.  Perhaps we are another notch on a board full of gullible foreigners.





2) The night before we left I saw what looked like a bunch of spoiled rich kids playing loud music and drinking on a boat parked in the harbor in Auckland.  We passed them and I took a look back to see a couple of police officers not far behind us.  The two in uniform walked by too but then one of the kids stopped them and said, "excuse me, officers.  Is the music alright?  We can turn it down a bit if you like."  I thought this was a nice piece of punctuation on a friendly, very community based, people that we encountered our whole time in New Zealand.

Thanks for reading friends, hope to see you soon.   Thanks also to Derek for all the great photos.

Feeling Like a Teacher

This will be the third calendar year that I write here.  I wrote nine times in 2015, three times in 2016, and this will be only the second of the current year.  I have got to get better about this.  So let's do a quick update.  I unfortunately have to keep this brief; my house is hosting a trivia / pub-quiz night.  It's Friday night, there's beers to be drank and knowledge to be spewed.  (Keefe, I'd like to add that "Tiny Dancer" is blaring in the background as you advised buddy)

Today I finish teaching my fourth week at a new school, Stree Manda Pitak.  It is a Catholic School and has been around for a while.  I know this because the lady that served me soup today told me how her father taught there for most of his life and then she taught there for 41 years of her life; yeah, my Thai is getting a bit better.  I kind of chuckled when I sat down and initially saw her soup stand is only open for five hours a day, now I know she's retired and just makes soup for fun.  She probably opens when she wants, cooks when she wants, and smiles often.

The school is home to more than 3,000 learners all the way from kindergarten to senior year of high school (Matayom 6 or M6).  Initially my schedule included seven different classes, spanning from M2-M6 (grades 8-12).  This week it has been changed, I now have eight classes, the same levels plus two P5 (Prathom 5 = 5th grade) classes where I will teach math.  I am so stoked about this.  For about forty minutes today we talked about big numbers and number places (tens place. hundreds place, etc).  That may sound boring to you, but it was awesome!  I love the little ones.  They are so much fun and it is great to listen to their little laughs again.  Ok, enough stats.

I've only taught for two years and only at the prathom level.  Now I am mainly in charge of high school, which was really intimidating at first.  It is actually really great.  They are really fun, you just have to keep their minds working otherwise they go to sleep.  Seriously, I wake up students all the time.  I have a two hour block named "Science Experiment" and I've been given no textbook or guidance.  So far we have dropped stuff off a balcony and used the position equation to calculate height and tried to modify our reaction times with slow and fast music.  The music one was to introduce the idea of a control group in a science experiment.  In Reading and Writing we are attempting to pinpoint what is "beauty" and what should be the extent that an individual goes to attain it.  Their opinion papers have been fun to grade.  Thailand has some interesting ways of viewing beauty but these kiddos have some fairly progressive views.

I still say kiddos because in my "Project" class where I've also been given zero direction, we read Where the Wild Things Are and watched the movie afterward.  I was going to have them write a comparison-contrast paper until I was told not to teach so much and not to give work in that class.  Oh new school, you a little nuts sometimes.  In the ending scene when Max sails away from the island I noticed the girl sitting in front of me was wiping her eyes.  Then I look up and half the girls, and a couple boys pretending some dust got in their eyes, were weeping as well.  They're still very much kids with some very innocent hearts.  That class in particular is sweet as can be and absolutely brilliant.

I could go on and on, but it's almost trivia time.  So some notables --  (hey, I bloody spelled it right this time)

**Notables**
In the first week of school my homeroom students found a kitten in the ceiling and a snake on a shelf outside the room.  Not sure which egg or chicken came first, however, they were attempting to get it off the shelf when I was lesson planning and I see something fly by the class window.  I get up to take a look and watch a man use a stick to bash the head of the snake many times..... at a Catholic school mind you.

I've taught 7 classes, plus the two P5s, plus 4 more for extra classes for which I rotate around M2 and M3.  I am only one man, they are many.  Everyone knows my name ...I am doing my best.  Regardless, everyday I arrive at work I have hundreds of bright faces saying, "good morning Mr. Josh" or "Good morning teacher!"  It is the best start to a day and makes me smile ear to ear.

Yesterday was the Wai Kru (honor/respect teacher) ceremony.  I've done this two years before but this was different.  3,000 students bowing before you.  Sounds a little odd?  Well it is, until you think about how Thai people show respect.  One way to do it is simply lowering your body.  So all of them bowing wasn't necessarily them addressing me as if I was a deity, it was just a nice way to say thank you.  Also, when the new teachers were introduced I had to stand up.  The gifts they present you are flowers and such.  -->

I didn't realize mine was full of water when they gave it to me and I spilled a bit.  So when I stood up it sorta looked like I wet myself.  Meh, I was wearing black.  I don't think anyone noticed. The roar of applause that just kept building as I stood was damn near enough to bring me to tears too.  A truly humbling moment.

I've got more to write for sure.  But it's time to go see if I've got any knowledge fuel left in the tank this week.  Cheers friends.

Losing the Lore

I have been with the same group of kids for two years now and at the end of this school year, mid-March, they make the transition from Prathom to Mathayom - essentially what I would call elementary to junior high school.  It is going to be hard to say goodbye regardless, however this odd transition in life for them will make it slightly different than if I were simply saying goodbye as their teacher from a different learning year.  During the two years I've seen them grow in all sorts of different motivating ways that make a teacher proud but I've also watched them lose a bit of 'being a kid.'  I remember the day they asked if we could stop watching as many animated movies during our "Club Hour" and now we watch almost none together.  They are assigned massive amounts of homework and when I ask them what they've been doing all weekend they say, "homework Teacher, what do you mean?"  They've begun to form small clicks in their friend groups; not nearly to the extent that will happen next year but I know that's all too soon.  I make it sound all dismal but some of their little morphs are great.  Their humor is so mature to the point of their teacher blushing a few times.

Porsche: "Hey Teacher have you ever been to pen island?"
Me: "What?  No, where is that?"
Porsche:  "How 'bout penis land?"
Touché young padawan.
(I am well aware that joke was painfully obvious in written form)

As a kid you stop believing in fairies, dragons, and heroes that save the day.  As an adult I find myself relating in analogous ways losing faith in things you had thought you would have found by now.   There's no white picket fence and the princess I was going to save from that dragon and I are walking a tough road.  Getting married to your one and only was a fairy tale as it turns out and the term "head over heels" is just about as stupid as it sounds.  That would hurt dammit.

Last week we were watching the new Pete's Dragon, however, and my twenty three little boogers were really digging it.  I put down my tests I was marking and decided to give the ending my full attention.  Their Ooos and Aaahs were just too difficult to ignore for much longer.  The scene where there are hundreds of dragons all flying together over the canyon made my whole class gasp, Ooo one more time, then clap and cheer.  They haven't lost the lore, I pray they never will, and I'm trying my best to do the same right now.

**Notables**
1)  I haven't written in too long and have so much more to tell, but I have been trying write this for a while now.   Happy New Year to all of you.  Love you much and I miss you even more.

2)  Today for "Activity Hour" I gave my kids 3 bottles of ink, a cup of water, and canvas type paper.  I attempted to teach ink painting.  I got a wide variety of responses but one little girl named Nokyung (peacock in Thai) gave me this.

I love it.