The Notables

It should be noted that I spell notables wrong every time I type it, ... and I teach English for a living.

I have been feeling that writing itch for a bit now but don't really have anything pressing.  Nothing pulling me to and fro, nothing racking my brain and causing the need for mental vomit.  I am remembering my first lesson back in the TEFL course with Matt; both of us were thinking, "Oh God, she gave us two hours since we're teaming up tomorrow.  What the hell are we going to do for two hours?!"  Now, occasionally my co-teacher will walk up and say, "teacher, you teach now instead of 2:00 o'clock."  Meh, looks like I'm winging this one.  By no means am I content, I still see so much room for improvement in my lessons.  However, I don't stress about it now, I only let it motivate.  So today, you only get the notables.

**The Notables**

1)  On my first day, Danny, the temporary fill-in for my class, gave me the basic rundown for everything - how he runs his teaching hours, how he plans, where the bathrooms are, etc.  He showed me alternate bathrooms down the hall since the main staff bathroom has gaps in the wall to help air it out.  He said to use the one down the hall if it is between hours because some of the ornery kids will sometimes peer through the wall in this one.  The other day I leave the staff bathroom at 2:35PM, perfect time, and the janitor lady comes around the corner while I'm putting my shoes back away and says, "teacher, I see you in the bathroom,"  I looked her straight in the eye and replied, "that's weird, but thank you."

2)  I am getting pretty connected to these little rug-rats in the short seven weeks I have taught them.  When I see one of them hurt or crying I get an odd little sensation - empathy maybe?  I don't know.

I try and bring a little treat on Fridays and if they can answer a question with a well-structured English sentence they get a piece of candy.  After a few right answers one of the kids yells, "teacher, Chokun!"  I look over at Chokun and he's bleeding from his face!  I'm pretty sure I either said or mouthed fuck at some point but no one seemed the wiser.  That day was one of the few times I'd been left alone with the children so far and I'm freaking out thinking it will be the last (and I probably killed this kid somehow).  We get him and his handful of blood to the sink, rinse a bit, and he reaches in and pulls out a tooth.  That's where I had to stifle some choice words for sure.  I mean, damn kid, way to get it done.  The Thai teacher comes back later and I attempt to tell her what happened thinking she needs to know.  She takes her phone out, plays around for a bit and shows me Google Translate with "milk tooth" in the output.  I sigh and say, "ok, good."  She looks at the rest of the students, chuckles and says, "Heh, teacher like milk tooth."

3)  I drink aloe vera juice and eat food that is way too spicy.

4)  I sat in a Buddhist temple for a long time on Sunday.  It was an incredibly beautiful and peaceful experience.  I began to close my eyes and let my mind drift when I heard someone else come in.  He didn't see me since I was in the back.  He meditated for a while and then lied down and quickly began to snore.  A couple from France came in shortly after with a monk to receive a blessing.  During the blessing ritual the dozing man awoke and looked very shocked.  His face was priceless.  Not only were there four more people in his temple area he thought he had to himself, three of them were pharang!  (pharang is a word that when I hear it on the street I know someone is talking about me/us.  It either means foreigner or white dude).  The man starts to shuffle and gather his things and the monk put his hand up in a stop-like motion and placed his palm back toward the ground slowly.  The sleepy man took note of the action and went back to sleep.  Oh Thailand, I love you.

5)  I promised a couple of elderly ladies that I would never go anywhere else to get my shirts tailored after they messed one of them up.  It didn't fit any more and they knew it so they said, "you always come here from now on and we know how to do you."  Heh.   Seriously though, they come out perfect now and to boot they refuse to charge me because of the one mistake.  Well, I bring them cake now because they won't take my Baht.  The Thai love their sweets and these two ladies' generosity is going to mean cavities.

6)  This is a baggie filled with coffee, wrapped in newspaper, placed in another sack.

I'll have to get a better picture soon because this stuff still cracks me up.  Danny said it best, "you own a shop, you give people stuff, eh - put it in a bag."  It's so true, everything comes in a plastic sack with handles.  I always joke when I'm hungover that I'll just go get a bag of coke and that should fix me right up.


Thanks for all the love and support from back home.  Always means a lot.  Cheers to all of you, you are missed.

Carry the One

I had some pretty bad days when I first began my teaching position here in Chanthaburi.  They were usually near the beginning of the week so I assumed it was a cross-cultural, Monday Blues, type of thing.  I was so nervous and wanted to do well in my new role but constantly felt like I must be messing it up.  Not knowing the idiosyncrasies of a new culture and knowing I was making routine mistakes in that way bled into me feeling I must be making errors on a professional level as well.  I've mentioned this before but I receive zero feedback so it was hard to take any kudos from that aspect or know where I was excelling.  ... but I get zero negative feedback as well, and that's where I had to do the math.  (The more I travel, the more this crazy piece of manila card stock comes in handy).

On bad days when my self esteem had taken some blows I still had no feedback, so therefore the blows were dealt by me.  I would assume that some inflection of voice, in a language I don't know how to speak mind you, meant they were too nice to say it but Teacher Josh didn't control his class so well in the last lesson.  If I didn't get a "Goodbye Teacher" from my students or my teaching assistant, I took that as a sign of someone not necessarily enjoying my placement at the school.  Sometimes you can't put the assumptions into words but let's say I made similar miscues and perhaps I was right, mmm, let's say one out of five times.  This means I treated myself five times as poorly as anyone else did.  And say during a particular bad day I assume twice as often; this means I am ten times more self-defeating on the inside than anyone on the outside.  On turbulent days you've got to carry the one that needs it most.  The math just isn't there and even if I'm not going to be one of those people that looks up some motivational quotes and tells myself to get back on track, I'm going to stop aiming the pistol down at my peds.

About two weeks ago I began to assume the best.  If I don't get any feedback that is because I am a damn great teacher.  It feels like I'm often being a bit too overconfident and self appreciative but it sure as hell beats the alternative.  I've noticed a change in the students, the teachers, and my demeanor in front of my class and I'm riding this out as long as I can.






**Noteworthy Notables**

- I ride on the back of a motor bike everyday to and from school.  One, thanks for always driving Darcy.  Two, I'm sorry that every time I've felt something similar between my legs (insert any and all jokes here please) it's been a jet-ski and some asshole has been trying to throw me off the back.  I am a whole lot more comfortable back there now but I spooned you so much in the beginning we should name our ride The Silverware Drawer.

- We've been told that the majority of police speak very little English so your chances of getting stopped are slim.  However, on our way back into town from Cambodia we were stuck in traffic and some guy drove by on his bike and handed a traffic officer a box of Oreos.  The man in uniform screamed, "Thank you!" with great pronunciation and our teacher driving us exclaimed, "You're welcome!" randomly and started laughing.  The whole car roared and that scene was something you can't make up.

- I went to an island a week or two ago for my roommate's birthday.  This is my favorite picture I took.

And this is the girls invited behind the bar.  They even tried to take a few orders which was hilarious to watch, but really they simply lit the bar on fire every time they got bored.