Goodbye

About a month before the end of school one of my best friends I've made in Thailand told me, "ya know, you really need to mentally prepare yourself for that week after school gets finished."  Reason one of many why we're such good buds.  She was right, and I tried, but saying goodbye never really gets any easier.  I can't train for it like a race and any life experience I do have doesn't matter because each new one is different.  I wasn't prepared for that week and then it didn't come until more than a week later since my family was here.  I was distracted having an absolute blast showing them around the places I love.  So in the course of a little more than two weeks I said goodbye to my students, I said goodbye to some friends and an awesome roommate, and then I said goodbye to my family.  In the next two weeks I'll say goodbye to more roommates when some of us reunite in Northern Thailand.  We'll be in Chiang Mai for the Thai New Year (SongKran) which is also the world's biggest water fight.  It spans nations in South East Asia and I am stoked, but it too will mark a close to things.  Sometimes I say goodbye for a while, sometimes for longer, sometimes I say goodbye for good because I should, and sometimes I say goodbye forever and don't know it.  None are easy, but they're facts of life and like anything else I move forward.

Enough of this being a downer post.  Layne and I back home during a happy hour pint would need a vent session but you can't only bitch.  We would spend the first 20 minutes or pint, whichever came first, spewing our minds and griping and then laughs would ensue.  I've booked a flight to Vietnam and leave in six days.  Time to get back out there and see some things.  I arrived in my TEFL course alone, I traveled around seeking a job alone, and I am excited to bum around Thailand on my own again.  There's freedom in it.  A lot of the time when I go to the markets the vendors ask me, "Khun dee ow, mai?"  (Are you alone?)  And I respond, "Pom dee ow, mi kwam suk, mai bpen rai kawp"  (I'm alone, but I am happy.  Don't worry)

**Noteables**

1) The most stressful time of the year for me is writing and giving the term tests.  I want the kids to do so well and I push them harder to learn and scold them and myself when we don't make the progress I feel we should be making.  One day at the peak of it I sat and wrote this.  It has stayed on a desktop sticky note ever since.  I run because it is my metaphor.
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You are proficient at what you train for.  You train for sprints - your body, and mostly your mind, is going to have a tough time switching back to the other.  A distance run seemed daunting the other night and then you flew.

You start letting all of this stress and deadlines get to you, you yourself are going to begin producing stress and angst.  Yes, there are tests and term tests coming.  But the students are calm as they always are.  Watch them laugh, smile, and play.  Feed off of that.  Don't continue to proliferate the angst.  It will make you a worse teacher and breed less efficient learners.

Have fun and finish strong, just like your sprints.
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I wrote if after I saw my student, Sun, playing badminton after a particularly bad lesson.  She had a smile on her face and spread that cheer my way.  She is indeed a bright light.  When it is her turn for hangman her words are always, "Hope" and "Love" and "Excited"




2) A few friends in the last month or so have said small things that have really stuck with me and made me feel wanted and worthy.  I thought about posting them here but that would've cheated the point I want to make.  It's the littlest things that can make the biggest difference.  One little sentence or one little gesture really makes my day sometimes.  Thank you.

3) On the last day of school I had to grade term tests, submit grades, go pack a bag for Bangkok, hop a bus, and go find my family in the airport.  My students finished with stellar marks and I am so proud of them.  Now on to the airport.
Derek: You're at the airport?
Me:  yeah, where are you?
Derek :  Door 9
Me:  How are you messaging me?  NM.
Me:  There is no door 9.

Welcome to Thailand's confusion my family.  That was in the first 15 minutes!  However, being a tour guide is tough.  This has given me so much insight as to when I go visit friends.  Thank you friends!

And now to get the rest of my family and friends out here.  I'll see you soon, chai mai? (right?)

Trains, planes, and automobiles here I come.  See you all later.